YAHOOO...friday night @ sciarc.......(wtf.)

4th... crack of dawn till i get to bed so tired of staring at my monitor i really need a hug from "someone" i need sex i have 4 days till i am screwed up the ass by snobby architects my project is going nowhere i need sex don't remember the last time i slept before midnight dying for some hardhouse to get me pumped basicly i just need sex........ good morning

ok....3rd all nighter in a row....10 hours of sleep so far this week..and now my bed is looking more and more like China Chow everytime i look at it(translation: i dont' wanna leave you...me wanna stay in bed, fuck!)

LIFE IS NOT PEACHY RIGHT NOW...........

I found out today that someone i actually cared alot about had some really negative and hurtful things to say about me.......I dunno if she actually said it out loud or just in a round about way implied it to her friends but regardless, im pretty sure the source was from that person directly. At first i was just in shocked and pretty damn pissed but then the more i thought about it the more dissapointed and hurt i got.......

Funny thing is i would never had dared spoken badly about the person or even thought about hurting this person on purpose. Yes the time we shared was short but it WAS memorable.......I think sometimes two ppl no matter how much you want it to work,just don't belong together.

Sometimes LOVE isn't enough.....

Like i was telling a good friend the other night, i use to think love and relationships were about "making it work" and compromises and acceptance of what you can't change........ If two ppl have problems from the start, then u work at it and work at it, until its barable or managable, and then maybe if ur lucky true love will grow out of that.

BUT I WAS WRONG....

LOVE isn't suppose to be like this! Shouldn't love be natural? it shouldn't be this hard...... You shouldn't have to "give in" or settle for any less than what your highest expectations are........

About almost 2 years ago i had a 4-5 year relationship end on a really bad note. It was a rocky and stormy ride the whole 4+ years. But it was also one of those life changing experiences ppl often call growing pains. I learned ALOT from it, the rights and wrongs...but one thing i do know for sure now that i didn't know then is this. I am not gonna waste anymore time. Whether its my own or the other persons, if i feel like its not going right.....i am ending it right there and then. It may sound harsh but its the right thing to do....at least for me.

I AM GOING TO FIND THAT ONE, because that's the goal these days...time to get serious folks, it ain't no "game" anymore.....and when i do everything is going to seem just perfect, natural....not forced. And then.........

LOVE will be enough.

need i say more?

ALL PLAY AND NO ARCHITECTURE, MAKES ERIC A DEAD BOY......

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Just friends - Musiq soul child