Badcake's Requiem

2002-05-01T00:43:00.000-07:00

This BLOG is CLOSED...SORRY(moved to LJ)

But click HERE if you cant get enough of me......

2002-04-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

So offically as of TODAY, i'm on vacation. FUCK YA!!!!!!(cake)

After not sleeping for two straight days and getting ohhh , about 12 hours the whole fucking week. I got home yesterday and fell asleep in the shower...twice.But hey at least im VERY VERY "clean" now.......

So i guess i can kinda focus on my love life for once(well two weeks to be exact...after that its back to work and school..wtf) god where do i start? Although i often times do miss my "WaWa" it seems like its been so long since we broke up and well..ALOT has changed since. Different times, different lives........ maybe it has to do with TIMING....but then again FATE was always a sarcastic fool. Is it time for a new start or should i pick up the pieces and rekindle something that might be wonderful?? who knows....i've never been good at LOVE, it doesn't seem like it's gonna change anytime soon......

So "Wa"...I know i'm a prick and asshole at times but hey.....I DO have my moments u must admit. Remember its the details in life that counts........ I dunno where we go from here, but just remember...wherever it is u NEVER have to face anything alone....i'm always here for you. MISS YOU.

2002-04-21T03:59:00.000-07:00

VERY VERY interesting day........but back to SCI-ARC i go, on a sat night. argh.....

2002-04-20T01:48:00.000-07:00

YAHOOO...friday night @ sciarc.......(wtf.)

2002-04-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

4th... crack of dawn till i get to bed so tired of staring at my monitor i really need a hug from "someone" i need sex i have 4 days till i am screwed up the ass by snobby architects my project is going nowhere i need sex don't remember the last time i slept before midnight dying for some hardhouse to get me pumped basicly i just need sex........ good morning

2002-04-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

ok....3rd all nighter in a row....10 hours of sleep so far this week..and now my bed is looking more and more like China Chow everytime i look at it(translation: i dont' wanna leave you...me wanna stay in bed, fuck!)

LIFE IS NOT PEACHY RIGHT NOW...........

2002-04-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

I found out today that someone i actually cared alot about had some really negative and hurtful things to say about me.......I dunno if she actually said it out loud or just in a round about way implied it to her friends but regardless, im pretty sure the source was from that person directly. At first i was just in shocked and pretty damn pissed but then the more i thought about it the more dissapointed and hurt i got.......

Funny thing is i would never had dared spoken badly about the person or even thought about hurting this person on purpose. Yes the time we shared was short but it WAS memorable.......I think sometimes two ppl no matter how much you want it to work,just don't belong together.

Sometimes LOVE isn't enough.....

Like i was telling a good friend the other night, i use to think love and relationships were about "making it work" and compromises and acceptance of what you can't change........ If two ppl have problems from the start, then u work at it and work at it, until its barable or managable, and then maybe if ur lucky true love will grow out of that.

BUT I WAS WRONG....

LOVE isn't suppose to be like this! Shouldn't love be natural? it shouldn't be this hard...... You shouldn't have to "give in" or settle for any less than what your highest expectations are........

About almost 2 years ago i had a 4-5 year relationship end on a really bad note. It was a rocky and stormy ride the whole 4+ years. But it was also one of those life changing experiences ppl often call growing pains. I learned ALOT from it, the rights and wrongs...but one thing i do know for sure now that i didn't know then is this. I am not gonna waste anymore time. Whether its my own or the other persons, if i feel like its not going right.....i am ending it right there and then. It may sound harsh but its the right thing to do....at least for me.

I AM GOING TO FIND THAT ONE, because that's the goal these days...time to get serious folks, it ain't no "game" anymore.....and when i do everything is going to seem just perfect, natural....not forced. And then.........

LOVE will be enough.

2002-04-15T04:38:00.000-07:00

need i say more?

2002-04-14T22:49:00.000-07:00

ALL PLAY AND NO ARCHITECTURE, MAKES ERIC A DEAD BOY......

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Just friends - Musiq soul child

2002-04-12T00:37:00.000-07:00

I have this itch i can't scratch.....(no damn u, i don't have crabs..). It's a mental/physical/crossing the line kind of ITCH. I'm restless, i can't concentrate on ANYTHING, i'm jumpy / ing.......Can't get this sensation out under my skin, i get urges........i have a thirst. Its major, its DESIRE, its almost overwhelming.......

But i can HANDLE it. I have to handle it.
There's no option. I'm literally captivated......
I'm completely seduced.
But i can handle it....maybe.
I need to feed this soon.......
everytime i'm near i feel my grasp slipping ever so closer.
I dream, daydream of a time, a place...
no restrictions, no objections......
no conclusions.....
I have to handle it.

Its not to be crossed...its not the way it should be.
Timing? No, its fate...........
Maybe its just not there......
but how could it NOT be there?
It's so obvious, so natural in a sense..........wait.

I CAN HANDLE IT.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : You don't have to call - Usher

2002-04-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

10 BAD things about this week...

1. 16 days left till deadline(ouch)
2. took last week off from work($$ouch$$)
3. went to the gym last week(double ouch)
4. gotta find a date for wedding(ack...)
5. miss a certain "someone"(double ack..)
6. being reminded i got "4th" everyday(fuck)
7. ppl actually thinking "4th" is good(WTF)
8. had korean BBQ again(i'm sooo sick of galbi..)
9. getting "vitamin" itches(i'm just sick)
10. sleeping alone for yet another week....(sigh)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Always - Lisa Shaw

2002-04-08T02:45:00.000-07:00

Good weekend........... enough said. (ok maybe not..)

friday = can't remember much...
sat = relaxing and comfy...
sun = nice....just very ........cake

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Quiet Nights - Andy Caldwell

2002-04-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

What a crasy weekend......... i love it how u put one chemical in your body to get u fucked and u have to add another to get u right again and in turn that "other" checmical gets u right back where u started. Round and round we go.....

hey at least i get to hangout and bum it with my fav. "eye candy"...i'll def feel ALOT better now.

2002-04-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

Well i'm getting lazy in my old age so here's a rerun........

SATURDAY NIGHT REQUIEM.....

(sign reads)EXIT....................thank god. I push the door open with a sigh of relief, the music behind me escapes like it had been my cellmate the last 6 months. “Man I should of stayed home tonight”. But then again I tell myself that every Saturday night, so it’s becoming somewhat of a catch phrase these days. Glancing behind me I see Spencer still half-grinning from the past hour. I can picture him going over in his head the conversation he’s had with the hot Italian chick he sat next to all night. I wonder if he got her number.…..with all the time he spent there, he better have. GLO mutters out loud, “Man I’m still rolling...” Chuckling, I think to myself, lucky you, if only mine lasted me THAT long. Show me a pill that sets me straight for 5 hours and I’ll show you what “real love” is.......
As we finally get to the car, I realize that these nights out seemed to have worn on us. As the months have passed, our zeal for “partying” seems soured, our ranks have shrunk, not to mention the cash that goes buh bye along with it. And our health? Let’s just not even go there….. But hey, that’s what being a weekend warrior is all about , right? It’s a war of attrition folks, last man (fool) standing………
GLO starts his car and the music is instantly back, “hey old friend…… you just couldn’t stay away could ya? Fool….” I think there’s something to be said about riding in the back of a lowered import at 2 in the morning. Custom speakers making you deafer than you realize you are, I mean it’s a ritual, passage into manhood kind of thing. So down the 405 we go. I lay my head back and soon I can’t figure out whether my head is actually throbbing from the car itself or it just plain fucking hurts. But hey, that’s what running a 102 degree fever the day before and actually saying “YES” to a night at the clubs the next day will do. Man, I’m a retard. I need a mom, no wait a girlfriend, better yet a priest… something shit! Or maybe just more pills. That would be classic wouldn’t it? Pills that make you sick so you take more pills to make you better only to found out you need more pills to be sick all over again.
10 minutes into my own self-pity, Spencer casually says, “Shit”. I look up and see a sea of brake lights and down the horizon…sirens, dozens of sirens fanned out all across the freeway.
We are completely stopped …….

“Are you kidding me?” GLO mutters. I look around and people slowly are getting out of their cars. About 200 hundred yards away, a bright dance of police sirens flash non-stop. “I think we might be here a while G. You might as well shut off your engine. “ 5 minutes later every car within eye distance is shut off and people are standing on the famed 405. I start to realize…….there’s a story to be told here.
“Hey, let me out Spencer, I wanna see what’s going on. “ That was the first time I ever set foot on a major freeway. I mean driving everyday on it is one thing. But to actually stand still in the middle of it was a completely different beast. It was like one of those dark dreams we all sometimes get, where the reality of your world gets twisted into something strange, suedo-like. None of the hundred or so people that were stuck there really knew what was going on. For the first 15 minutes or so everyone was left wondering, many aggravated with the delay. But as time pasted, something almost wonderful happened……..
Usually, strangers talking to each other is not all that uncommon, we do it all the time. You need to know the time? You ask the stranger next to you. You need a smoke? You ask the fine lady for a light. But given it was 3 in the morning, in the middle of the 405, in a sometimes very heartless, uncaring city we call LA, well…….

to be continued.

2002-04-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

So i broke into a car today. Used a hanger and some niffy hand tricks and got the lock to pop. Nevermind that it was my own car cuz that's not important.......... Y is it when u need a "spare" for something it's never there ?! And that applies to everything, not just keys. I mean when u have something "extra" and u don't need it, it'll sit there, useless. But when u finally need and want it....nada. POOF, gone....

What makes it worst is that i called my Ex to see if she had my spare or remember where i put it, and of course she didn't give a shit(as usual) and hung up REAL quick. Jesus talk about feeling stupid for calling someone, tops off a great fucking day. Women are heartless, cold and uncaring......lol (no wait, thats supposely ME.)Well at least whatever feelings i had she killed with that attitude and whatever intutition i felt about our future is POOF, gone........

2002-04-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

So i finally decided after 5 and a half months / -10 pounds / and 2 GFs later, to go back to the gym......

O U C H. (shit sucks....i'm back to square 1)

2002-04-02T04:18:00.000-08:00

O M G...........Jaymee Ong is heaven

2002-03-31T18:57:00.000-08:00

I got 4th...... (see march 11th entry)

WTF is 4th place?? Is that some kind of , "sorry u loser, u can have this pity award, now here's some change so you can go call ur mommy and tell her you're coming home and you're not gonna be an architect...." crap???

sigh, motherbitch.....

2002-03-31T18:47:00.000-08:00

Had a good weekend...(kinda). Partied my ass off which was somthing i hadn't done in ages. But still "partying" just isn't as fun anymore. At the end of both friday and sat nights i wanted to be home in front of the TV or in bed so bad i was getting cranky....... I don't think this single thing is working for me. i def. think settling down with someone stable and wonderful at the same time is the way to go.

Casual sex is bliss, but it's only for an instance.....

2002-03-27T01:16:00.000-08:00

Architecture is the Art of how to waste space..."

-Philip Johnson

boy if thats true ...i'm sure a big waste of space.

2002-03-27T01:04:00.000-08:00

Don't have much to say tonight(it was boring) ....so i figured i'd dig up something i wrote for my friends a whiles back. use to write these silly little email/stories to my personal friends in case they were bored at work..........enjoy.

So i get home on wed. nite feeling like a million bucks (butt-drunk) and i stumble onto my couch (pasted-out), where Lucy (i call her Ms.Liu or sometimes Mistress Liu when i've been naughty....) was waitng for me once again..... but this time she brought her friend China..and well......(i had no complaints) and as she and China were draped over my over-priced designer funiture, they started to..........ahhhh uhmmm, anyways NM that...point was i woke up at 3:30 in the fuckin morning bright-eyed and full of useless energy(damn good dream) so i decide to go the the gym......

I usually frequent the K-town gym even though its a good 10 min drive, well cuz......damn its K-town OK , you all know me! I'm mean once in a while you get a couple of cute asian girls floating in and out of the place .. and seeing how i've been single for uhmmm 7months23 days11hours26mins and 34 secs............the occasional "eye candy" doesn't hurt in getting me to squeeze out a couple more reps.......another wonderful plus is that at the korean town 24fitness, its about the only damn gym in this world where i'm not considered the "skinny asian guy" in the corner lifting 10 pound girly weights.......i mean there are days where i feel "pretty damn good" about myself looking at some of the ugly twigs in there (life just isn't fair for some ppl)....as GLEW56 would say..."sucks 4 U!"

So its a quater till 4 and i'm the only person in there....................NO scratch that....outta the corner of my eye i see a girl... (the little man in my head jumps up) Asian.....not fat.....decent height.......niceeee ass.......little man whispers in my head..."look up look up"....(she does) ahhhhhh CAAAAKE.....very 'fuckable' (sorry ladies) ...so now all my alarms are on full alert...."emergency mack mode !! repeat, all systems GOGO... Ayyy dammit, captun we need more powa!!" So now my whole workout is dictated on exact location on this damn girl (girls fu*kin shit up again..dammit) ....if she's on bike..I"M THERE!...doing some abs..HELL YEAH I'M DOWN!! but in back of my mind i'm thinking.." ok..i don't want a WHL888 incident.....gotta play it smooth."(for those of you who don't know about the ' WHL888 at the gym' incident...ask him) So i slowly work my way around the stupid gym........every 10 min i hone in closer to the pry, ahh i mean girl.......until i'm practically next to her.

What happened next is well, PATHETIC doesn't even begin to describe the events.......i'm doing some crunches and she's on this machine called the 'ass master', i mean BUTT BLASTER..and i precede to turn over to her and say these famous last words...."uhmmm how many sets do you have left? i wanted to get on that....." (the lil man in my head shrieks in horror) she gives me a annoyed blank look.........i realized right there and then i must of had DUMBASS written on my forehead.

OF ALL THE ALMOST 100 MACHINES IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE EMPTY GYM I WANTED TO USE THAT ONE???!! And on top of all that i wanted to use the ASS MASTER?! What would a guy being doing on a ASS MASTER?! I don't even know what a assmaster is! I shouldn't be caught anywhere near a thing called a assmaster! Its not a male positive machine! Dammit they should of put that stupid thing in the women's locker room! jesus..........well needlesss to say ....i got no response..and i resorted to the corner of the gym doing my 10 pound girly weights.........

Sigh..... life is grand when your single , every week is a new adventure..........................btw i've switched gyms.

2002-03-26T01:25:00.000-08:00

OK..i've noticed ALOT of KOBE bashing lately.....WTF !

once again......KOBE IS god. period

he can do no wrong......

2002-03-26T00:12:00.000-08:00

Went to see Blade 2 with some friends.......uhmmm not a BAD movie but not a GOOD movie either. One of those tweeners. And def. NOT a date movie.....i swear Wesley Snipes def. has a major asian fetish...jesus guy...YOU'RE BLACK , OK....not matter if u marry an asian wife , learn martial arts, decor ur house like a japanese zen garden..YOUR STILL BLACK OK?.....SORRY. Whats this world coming to??

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE ASIAN...

2002-03-24T20:13:00.000-08:00

Recapping my high-octane weekend : friday - rented 4 DVDs, bought enough medication to kill a cow, made chinese chicken soup for myself......yummmm damn i'm good. Saturday - was all excited to watch Training Day but i think i broke the fuckin DVD when i took it outta the "rubix cube" of a box they call the DVD package.....GODDFUCKINDAMMIT IT! So i drugged myself up with nyqil and dropped dead for the rest of the night. Sunday - watched the Lakers and KOBE kick the crap outta the Kings (KOBE is my god...), dragged myself to work and now........ well now shit...i'm just kinda feeling horny, sorry but i haven't had sex in a while (2 weeks) and i'm just plain disagreeable when i can't get mine....= /

good night folks......

2002-03-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

I'm sick......arrrrghhh. Why does it seem like my body knows when to get sick just at the worst possible time?! Like NOW..........hmmm let me see 1. NO GIRLFRIEND 2. BIRTHDAY WEEKEND 3. HAVE TO FUCKIN WORK THIS WEEKEND 4.CERTAIN GIRL /GIRLS WANNA "HANGOUT".

WTF !!! sigh well as the saying goes.....timing is a bitch (and appearently she's on her rag this week as well....)