Badcake's Requiem

2002-05-01T00:43:00.000-07:00

This BLOG is CLOSED...SORRY(moved to LJ)

But click HERE if you cant get enough of me......

2002-04-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

So offically as of TODAY, i'm on vacation. FUCK YA!!!!!!(cake)

After not sleeping for two straight days and getting ohhh , about 12 hours the whole fucking week. I got home yesterday and fell asleep in the shower...twice.But hey at least im VERY VERY "clean" now.......

So i guess i can kinda focus on my love life for once(well two weeks to be exact...after that its back to work and school..wtf) god where do i start? Although i often times do miss my "WaWa" it seems like its been so long since we broke up and well..ALOT has changed since. Different times, different lives........ maybe it has to do with TIMING....but then again FATE was always a sarcastic fool. Is it time for a new start or should i pick up the pieces and rekindle something that might be wonderful?? who knows....i've never been good at LOVE, it doesn't seem like it's gonna change anytime soon......

So "Wa"...I know i'm a prick and asshole at times but hey.....I DO have my moments u must admit. Remember its the details in life that counts........ I dunno where we go from here, but just remember...wherever it is u NEVER have to face anything alone....i'm always here for you. MISS YOU.

2002-04-21T03:59:00.000-07:00

VERY VERY interesting day........but back to SCI-ARC i go, on a sat night. argh.....

2002-04-20T01:48:00.000-07:00

YAHOOO...friday night @ sciarc.......(wtf.)

2002-04-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

4th... crack of dawn till i get to bed so tired of staring at my monitor i really need a hug from "someone" i need sex i have 4 days till i am screwed up the ass by snobby architects my project is going nowhere i need sex don't remember the last time i slept before midnight dying for some hardhouse to get me pumped basicly i just need sex........ good morning

2002-04-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

ok....3rd all nighter in a row....10 hours of sleep so far this week..and now my bed is looking more and more like China Chow everytime i look at it(translation: i dont' wanna leave you...me wanna stay in bed, fuck!)

LIFE IS NOT PEACHY RIGHT NOW...........

2002-04-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

I found out today that someone i actually cared alot about had some really negative and hurtful things to say about me.......I dunno if she actually said it out loud or just in a round about way implied it to her friends but regardless, im pretty sure the source was from that person directly. At first i was just in shocked and pretty damn pissed but then the more i thought about it the more dissapointed and hurt i got.......

Funny thing is i would never had dared spoken badly about the person or even thought about hurting this person on purpose. Yes the time we shared was short but it WAS memorable.......I think sometimes two ppl no matter how much you want it to work,just don't belong together.

Sometimes LOVE isn't enough.....

Like i was telling a good friend the other night, i use to think love and relationships were about "making it work" and compromises and acceptance of what you can't change........ If two ppl have problems from the start, then u work at it and work at it, until its barable or managable, and then maybe if ur lucky true love will grow out of that.

BUT I WAS WRONG....

LOVE isn't suppose to be like this! Shouldn't love be natural? it shouldn't be this hard...... You shouldn't have to "give in" or settle for any less than what your highest expectations are........

About almost 2 years ago i had a 4-5 year relationship end on a really bad note. It was a rocky and stormy ride the whole 4+ years. But it was also one of those life changing experiences ppl often call growing pains. I learned ALOT from it, the rights and wrongs...but one thing i do know for sure now that i didn't know then is this. I am not gonna waste anymore time. Whether its my own or the other persons, if i feel like its not going right.....i am ending it right there and then. It may sound harsh but its the right thing to do....at least for me.

I AM GOING TO FIND THAT ONE, because that's the goal these days...time to get serious folks, it ain't no "game" anymore.....and when i do everything is going to seem just perfect, natural....not forced. And then.........

LOVE will be enough.

2002-04-15T04:38:00.000-07:00

need i say more?

2002-04-14T22:49:00.000-07:00

ALL PLAY AND NO ARCHITECTURE, MAKES ERIC A DEAD BOY......

SONG OF THE MOMENT: Just friends - Musiq soul child

2002-04-12T00:37:00.000-07:00

I have this itch i can't scratch.....(no damn u, i don't have crabs..). It's a mental/physical/crossing the line kind of ITCH. I'm restless, i can't concentrate on ANYTHING, i'm jumpy / ing.......Can't get this sensation out under my skin, i get urges........i have a thirst. Its major, its DESIRE, its almost overwhelming.......

But i can HANDLE it. I have to handle it.
There's no option. I'm literally captivated......
I'm completely seduced.
But i can handle it....maybe.
I need to feed this soon.......
everytime i'm near i feel my grasp slipping ever so closer.
I dream, daydream of a time, a place...
no restrictions, no objections......
no conclusions.....
I have to handle it.

Its not to be crossed...its not the way it should be.
Timing? No, its fate...........
Maybe its just not there......
but how could it NOT be there?
It's so obvious, so natural in a sense..........wait.

I CAN HANDLE IT.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : You don't have to call - Usher

2002-04-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

10 BAD things about this week...

1. 16 days left till deadline(ouch)
2. took last week off from work($$ouch$$)
3. went to the gym last week(double ouch)
4. gotta find a date for wedding(ack...)
5. miss a certain "someone"(double ack..)
6. being reminded i got "4th" everyday(fuck)
7. ppl actually thinking "4th" is good(WTF)
8. had korean BBQ again(i'm sooo sick of galbi..)
9. getting "vitamin" itches(i'm just sick)
10. sleeping alone for yet another week....(sigh)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Always - Lisa Shaw

2002-04-08T02:45:00.000-07:00

Good weekend........... enough said. (ok maybe not..)

friday = can't remember much...
sat = relaxing and comfy...
sun = nice....just very ........cake

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Quiet Nights - Andy Caldwell

2002-04-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

What a crasy weekend......... i love it how u put one chemical in your body to get u fucked and u have to add another to get u right again and in turn that "other" checmical gets u right back where u started. Round and round we go.....

hey at least i get to hangout and bum it with my fav. "eye candy"...i'll def feel ALOT better now.

2002-04-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

Well i'm getting lazy in my old age so here's a rerun........

SATURDAY NIGHT REQUIEM.....

(sign reads)EXIT....................thank god. I push the door open with a sigh of relief, the music behind me escapes like it had been my cellmate the last 6 months. “Man I should of stayed home tonight”. But then again I tell myself that every Saturday night, so it’s becoming somewhat of a catch phrase these days. Glancing behind me I see Spencer still half-grinning from the past hour. I can picture him going over in his head the conversation he’s had with the hot Italian chick he sat next to all night. I wonder if he got her number.…..with all the time he spent there, he better have. GLO mutters out loud, “Man I’m still rolling...” Chuckling, I think to myself, lucky you, if only mine lasted me THAT long. Show me a pill that sets me straight for 5 hours and I’ll show you what “real love” is.......
As we finally get to the car, I realize that these nights out seemed to have worn on us. As the months have passed, our zeal for “partying” seems soured, our ranks have shrunk, not to mention the cash that goes buh bye along with it. And our health? Let’s just not even go there….. But hey, that’s what being a weekend warrior is all about , right? It’s a war of attrition folks, last man (fool) standing………
GLO starts his car and the music is instantly back, “hey old friend…… you just couldn’t stay away could ya? Fool….” I think there’s something to be said about riding in the back of a lowered import at 2 in the morning. Custom speakers making you deafer than you realize you are, I mean it’s a ritual, passage into manhood kind of thing. So down the 405 we go. I lay my head back and soon I can’t figure out whether my head is actually throbbing from the car itself or it just plain fucking hurts. But hey, that’s what running a 102 degree fever the day before and actually saying “YES” to a night at the clubs the next day will do. Man, I’m a retard. I need a mom, no wait a girlfriend, better yet a priest… something shit! Or maybe just more pills. That would be classic wouldn’t it? Pills that make you sick so you take more pills to make you better only to found out you need more pills to be sick all over again.
10 minutes into my own self-pity, Spencer casually says, “Shit”. I look up and see a sea of brake lights and down the horizon…sirens, dozens of sirens fanned out all across the freeway.
We are completely stopped …….

“Are you kidding me?” GLO mutters. I look around and people slowly are getting out of their cars. About 200 hundred yards away, a bright dance of police sirens flash non-stop. “I think we might be here a while G. You might as well shut off your engine. “ 5 minutes later every car within eye distance is shut off and people are standing on the famed 405. I start to realize…….there’s a story to be told here.
“Hey, let me out Spencer, I wanna see what’s going on. “ That was the first time I ever set foot on a major freeway. I mean driving everyday on it is one thing. But to actually stand still in the middle of it was a completely different beast. It was like one of those dark dreams we all sometimes get, where the reality of your world gets twisted into something strange, suedo-like. None of the hundred or so people that were stuck there really knew what was going on. For the first 15 minutes or so everyone was left wondering, many aggravated with the delay. But as time pasted, something almost wonderful happened……..
Usually, strangers talking to each other is not all that uncommon, we do it all the time. You need to know the time? You ask the stranger next to you. You need a smoke? You ask the fine lady for a light. But given it was 3 in the morning, in the middle of the 405, in a sometimes very heartless, uncaring city we call LA, well…….

to be continued.

2002-04-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

So i broke into a car today. Used a hanger and some niffy hand tricks and got the lock to pop. Nevermind that it was my own car cuz that's not important.......... Y is it when u need a "spare" for something it's never there ?! And that applies to everything, not just keys. I mean when u have something "extra" and u don't need it, it'll sit there, useless. But when u finally need and want it....nada. POOF, gone....

What makes it worst is that i called my Ex to see if she had my spare or remember where i put it, and of course she didn't give a shit(as usual) and hung up REAL quick. Jesus talk about feeling stupid for calling someone, tops off a great fucking day. Women are heartless, cold and uncaring......lol (no wait, thats supposely ME.)Well at least whatever feelings i had she killed with that attitude and whatever intutition i felt about our future is POOF, gone........

2002-04-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

So i finally decided after 5 and a half months / -10 pounds / and 2 GFs later, to go back to the gym......

O U C H. (shit sucks....i'm back to square 1)

2002-04-02T04:18:00.000-08:00

O M G...........Jaymee Ong is heaven

2002-03-31T18:57:00.000-08:00

I got 4th...... (see march 11th entry)

WTF is 4th place?? Is that some kind of , "sorry u loser, u can have this pity award, now here's some change so you can go call ur mommy and tell her you're coming home and you're not gonna be an architect...." crap???

sigh, motherbitch.....

2002-03-31T18:47:00.000-08:00

Had a good weekend...(kinda). Partied my ass off which was somthing i hadn't done in ages. But still "partying" just isn't as fun anymore. At the end of both friday and sat nights i wanted to be home in front of the TV or in bed so bad i was getting cranky....... I don't think this single thing is working for me. i def. think settling down with someone stable and wonderful at the same time is the way to go.

Casual sex is bliss, but it's only for an instance.....

2002-03-27T01:16:00.000-08:00

Architecture is the Art of how to waste space..."

-Philip Johnson

boy if thats true ...i'm sure a big waste of space.

2002-03-27T01:04:00.000-08:00

Don't have much to say tonight(it was boring) ....so i figured i'd dig up something i wrote for my friends a whiles back. use to write these silly little email/stories to my personal friends in case they were bored at work..........enjoy.

So i get home on wed. nite feeling like a million bucks (butt-drunk) and i stumble onto my couch (pasted-out), where Lucy (i call her Ms.Liu or sometimes Mistress Liu when i've been naughty....) was waitng for me once again..... but this time she brought her friend China..and well......(i had no complaints) and as she and China were draped over my over-priced designer funiture, they started to..........ahhhh uhmmm, anyways NM that...point was i woke up at 3:30 in the fuckin morning bright-eyed and full of useless energy(damn good dream) so i decide to go the the gym......

I usually frequent the K-town gym even though its a good 10 min drive, well cuz......damn its K-town OK , you all know me! I'm mean once in a while you get a couple of cute asian girls floating in and out of the place .. and seeing how i've been single for uhmmm 7months23 days11hours26mins and 34 secs............the occasional "eye candy" doesn't hurt in getting me to squeeze out a couple more reps.......another wonderful plus is that at the korean town 24fitness, its about the only damn gym in this world where i'm not considered the "skinny asian guy" in the corner lifting 10 pound girly weights.......i mean there are days where i feel "pretty damn good" about myself looking at some of the ugly twigs in there (life just isn't fair for some ppl)....as GLEW56 would say..."sucks 4 U!"

So its a quater till 4 and i'm the only person in there....................NO scratch that....outta the corner of my eye i see a girl... (the little man in my head jumps up) Asian.....not fat.....decent height.......niceeee ass.......little man whispers in my head..."look up look up"....(she does) ahhhhhh CAAAAKE.....very 'fuckable' (sorry ladies) ...so now all my alarms are on full alert...."emergency mack mode !! repeat, all systems GOGO... Ayyy dammit, captun we need more powa!!" So now my whole workout is dictated on exact location on this damn girl (girls fu*kin shit up again..dammit) ....if she's on bike..I"M THERE!...doing some abs..HELL YEAH I'M DOWN!! but in back of my mind i'm thinking.." ok..i don't want a WHL888 incident.....gotta play it smooth."(for those of you who don't know about the ' WHL888 at the gym' incident...ask him) So i slowly work my way around the stupid gym........every 10 min i hone in closer to the pry, ahh i mean girl.......until i'm practically next to her.

What happened next is well, PATHETIC doesn't even begin to describe the events.......i'm doing some crunches and she's on this machine called the 'ass master', i mean BUTT BLASTER..and i precede to turn over to her and say these famous last words...."uhmmm how many sets do you have left? i wanted to get on that....." (the lil man in my head shrieks in horror) she gives me a annoyed blank look.........i realized right there and then i must of had DUMBASS written on my forehead.

OF ALL THE ALMOST 100 MACHINES IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE EMPTY GYM I WANTED TO USE THAT ONE???!! And on top of all that i wanted to use the ASS MASTER?! What would a guy being doing on a ASS MASTER?! I don't even know what a assmaster is! I shouldn't be caught anywhere near a thing called a assmaster! Its not a male positive machine! Dammit they should of put that stupid thing in the women's locker room! jesus..........well needlesss to say ....i got no response..and i resorted to the corner of the gym doing my 10 pound girly weights.........

Sigh..... life is grand when your single , every week is a new adventure..........................btw i've switched gyms.

2002-03-26T01:25:00.000-08:00

OK..i've noticed ALOT of KOBE bashing lately.....WTF !

once again......KOBE IS god. period

he can do no wrong......

2002-03-26T00:12:00.000-08:00

Went to see Blade 2 with some friends.......uhmmm not a BAD movie but not a GOOD movie either. One of those tweeners. And def. NOT a date movie.....i swear Wesley Snipes def. has a major asian fetish...jesus guy...YOU'RE BLACK , OK....not matter if u marry an asian wife , learn martial arts, decor ur house like a japanese zen garden..YOUR STILL BLACK OK?.....SORRY. Whats this world coming to??

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE ASIAN...

2002-03-24T20:13:00.000-08:00

Recapping my high-octane weekend : friday - rented 4 DVDs, bought enough medication to kill a cow, made chinese chicken soup for myself......yummmm damn i'm good. Saturday - was all excited to watch Training Day but i think i broke the fuckin DVD when i took it outta the "rubix cube" of a box they call the DVD package.....GODDFUCKINDAMMIT IT! So i drugged myself up with nyqil and dropped dead for the rest of the night. Sunday - watched the Lakers and KOBE kick the crap outta the Kings (KOBE is my god...), dragged myself to work and now........ well now shit...i'm just kinda feeling horny, sorry but i haven't had sex in a while (2 weeks) and i'm just plain disagreeable when i can't get mine....= /

good night folks......

2002-03-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

I'm sick......arrrrghhh. Why does it seem like my body knows when to get sick just at the worst possible time?! Like NOW..........hmmm let me see 1. NO GIRLFRIEND 2. BIRTHDAY WEEKEND 3. HAVE TO FUCKIN WORK THIS WEEKEND 4.CERTAIN GIRL /GIRLS WANNA "HANGOUT".

WTF !!! sigh well as the saying goes.....timing is a bitch (and appearently she's on her rag this week as well....)

2002-03-15T06:16:00.000-08:00

I have a sleeping disorder...... it's called , " I CAN'T FUCKIN SLEEP DAMMIT..." now its not a serious diease but once in a while i'll knockout for like 16 hours in a dead coma. Lovely no? Like now...its 6:30 in the morning and i haven't slept a lick yet. And i prob won't get to sleep till it's past midnight since its a weekend.....how do i do it u ask???

simple..lots of coke (drinking kind) and PORN...LOTS AND LOTS OF INTERNET PORN.

jk.

2002-03-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

the following conversation is proof that girls are just as shallow and heartless as us men.........

AIM on a warm fuzzy tues night :

cake74: hey speaking of small dicks..whats the smallest u've had?
Ms.godamn: i dunno. i dont measure that shit.
cake74: girls always say that..but u KNOW..its like a one of those mental
things, one glance, "he's a 5er.."
Ms.godamn: this one guy i was with. damn. he was pretty small though.
cake74: but u KNOW
cake74: small as in...
cake74: 4 inchs?
Ms.godamn: let me check a ruler.
cake74: ha
Ms.godamn: maybe 4.5 to 5
cake74: so u dumped him?
Ms.godamn: after the first 2 times, i didnt even have sex w/him anymore.
cake74: wtf...ouch
cake74: was it that bad?
Ms.godamn: what's the point
Ms.godamn: it wasn't just small
Ms.godamn: it was skinny too
Ms.godamn: yuck. gross. bleh.
cake74: wait was it the guy or the dick
Ms.godamn: a little of both.
Ms.godamn: the dick didnt help
cake74: man..thats sad....this guy better make buku bucks later in life........
cake74: i feel for the guy
cake74: was he good looking at least?
Ms.godamn: he was pretty cute.
cake74: omg..u little baitch....
Ms.godamn: but one thing that bugs me is bad breath. and he had bad breath.
cake74: did the dick matter THAT much?
Ms.godamn: i can't be w/ a guy if he has bad breath.
Ms.godamn: his breath matters more than the dick
Ms.godamn: oh and clean, short nails too. he has to have nice hands.
Ms.godamn: and he has to be at LEAST 6'
Ms.godamn: preferably 6'1" to 6'2"
Ms.godamn: but no more than 6'2"
cake74: ok ok damn, i was only asking bout dick size.....

2002-03-12T06:40:00.000-08:00

yes i'm fuckin up at 6:30 in the morning(motherbitch..).........just had to get some thing off of my mind i guess.

So as u know i'm single again ...W T F???!! This is a virus no??!(they must call it can'thavefindagoodwomenthrax or something retarded..) i have something don't I?? i mean jesus this can't be normal...sigh (hey at least i can blog now) I think there's some unwritten rules for blogging though. It seems like the rules are... You either gotta be single, not in a serious relationship(translation : UR GETTING ANALED...u just don't know it yet) can't get overe your ex, or ur a just a big ol slut who can't stay with one person. I mean serious now..these BLOG things are really only for ppl with serious issues, or else there really wouldn't be anythig to fucking write about would there? If i had a steady relationship I would never be on the net....ok well not true but i would never be on the net bitchin about my life and lack of a steady "fuck buddy".... and yes, isn't that waht we all really need?? A steady fuck buddy....they should have a website, yes there has to be a website for that......

2002-03-11T18:17:00.000-08:00

I AM DONE........ took me almost 4 weeks but i'm fuckin finished with this Arch. Competition crap Lyceum ...., sigh and in 6 days i'll found out if i wasted my time or i've kicked everyones ass and won some money.... god knows i can use 10k...or 6k...either or...but hey like the saying goes....2nd is NOT winning and no one ever remembers who came in third

2002-03-07T03:06:00.000-08:00

I've realized tonight sitting here at my desk for the 13th straight hour that i have a major GOD COMPLEX...... damn god must have a tough life, cuz i'm tired as FUCK ..

2002-02-28T23:32:00.000-08:00

SOME PPL HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO...... but stick their flat butts into other ppls lives, sigh...sad...soooo sad

2002-02-01T03:46:00.000-08:00

I've resorted to one entry a month on this freakin thing... i dunno don't like spilling my guts out onto the "information superhighway" anymore..... i mean who the fuck knows who IS READING MY SHIT..... .. or maybe NO ONE..wouldn't that be kinda pathetic?? No one reads my BLOG........................NO ONE.(drip, drip.....water dripping...)

slience.

2001-12-20T20:05:00.000-08:00

ok ok...i'm been a badddd boy with this BLOG thing. I guess i've just been busy up my ass with school (plus i got my stupid self a GF so...) amongest other things.... but my life is pretty peachy these days...besides being dead fuckin broke that is...hey but $$ can't buy you love or happiness and i sure as hell have both right now so no complaints.....

now all i have to do is get my ass outta school and start making some $$......(shit)

2001-11-19T04:28:00.000-08:00

Had one of those amazing weeks.....it was one of those things where a person won't soon forget what went down the previous week.... and it wasn't so much WHAT i did as it was WHO i did it with...... life is sure funny sometimes, u never know what's in store next. = )

2001-11-15T00:49:00.000-08:00

C....if ur reading this, thank you. Ur medicine was just what i needed. i feel a whole lot better.....

But honestly i think it was just YOU........

2001-11-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

arrrghhh i'm a sick dog right now...seems like i get the cold/flu every winter..like clock-work. Now all i have to do is find someone stupid enough to take care of my sneezing ass.......

Where's a "mom" when i need her? arrgghh......

2001-11-12T02:30:00.000-08:00

BLISS......

and i miss her already.

2001-11-02T02:54:00.000-08:00

I stole this quote from a girls webpage i stumbled onto.......

Destiny is a bitch, and Timing is her punk-ass sidekick.

how terribly and ironically true this is..... what a great quote = /

2001-10-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

I'm tired......i'm sore and i ache, what else.......stressed, agged, grumpy and outta shape. Peeved, worried, and haven't had sex since it last rained......(lord knows when that was...) uhmmm got my mid-term presentations/review on MONDAY and everything is half done...i'm gonna get butt-rammed when i present my "half-baked" building.......golly gee...life can't get any better.

But i guess all that goes away with one smile from "her"............(although the "her' changes every fuckin week it seems..)

2001-10-23T23:11:00.000-07:00

I have a new motto ---------------> " NEVER JUSTIFY...."

Food for thought......

" Reason is, and ought to be, only the slave of passions."
- David Hume, 1711-1776

2001-10-21T16:53:00.000-07:00

OK I'M BAAAAAACK....... (wait..wtf, don't leave..shhh). So anyhoo I had a GREAT weekend.....Friday didn't do much but cuz i only slept like 15 hours all week so I tried to get all my damn sticky clothes outta the garbage bags...pasted out half way. = ( Sat. went to MOCA with my fav. "eye candy" Saw the "What's shakin" LA architecture show and Douglas Gordan exhib..not bad not bad......although i think old Dougie is "ON" something if you know what i mean...then went shopping on Robertson.(shopping with a girl is more work thancardio for 5 hours straight...) Went to a friends b-day party inher artist loft in downtown, man i think i jsut became the unoffical drug dealer of my fuckin school....S H I T.(gotta change that, quick..) had a blast and now i'm sitting in at school once again.......round and round i go...where this sadistic ride stops...i'll never know.

have a good week ppls...

2001-10-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

In the process of moving and unpacking....sorry no time for indepth- thought provoking-useless-sarcasticly subliminal- BLOGS. When i get some free time i'll update.......as of now gotta get use to CHINATOWN baby, chinatown.........

2001-10-10T17:46:00.000-07:00

AHHHHHHH got my internet back !!! I CAN LIVE AGAIN......

2001-09-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

CRAP o' LA..stuck in this damn meth LAB, uhmm i mean comp LAB again...(fuck i wish)........ its 8:30 and everyone is heading off to Vynyl(best deep house club in LA) in 2 hours.....shit what to do what to do. Sit here till midnight and stare stupidly at the 50 monitors and half dozen or so zombies still in here... or stare at one big screen in the club and say ten times to complete strangers , "dude....trippy lights and visuals man......." uhmmmmm tough one.....fuck this i'm outta here.

2001-09-30T02:34:00.000-07:00

OK..so i found myself a "backup". For those of you gross and disgusting ppl who have GF/BF's and are sooo fuckin happy and blissful(may u all stub ur toe and something REAL hard.....) a "backup" is for us idiots who isn't likely to find a mate for life in the near future and so u get urself a "backup"(its like cheap insurance) and u both agree that when the two of you hit a certain age and aren't anywhere close to getting married..... you just agree to marry each other by default. Lovely concept no?? Sigh...well ADDY u better get ready..cuz its only gonna be 8 years b4 i hit 35 and i expect two sons and taiwanese food everynight.......

2001-09-25T01:21:00.000-07:00

Went to the gym for the first time in over a week and i realized that i'm a skinny ass(motherbitch). Fuck i'd give my right nut for 10 pounds...well maybe not my entire right nut...half, i'd give half..... i've always been skinny though..for about 25 years of my life i was a walking "stick" and it wasn't till this year when i got rid of the "baggage", quit smoking and decided to get healthy that i started to get bigger. But still..its a constant struggle to keep pounds on...fuck i lose weight in my morning pee for god sakes! I eat like 5 times a day and if i don't when i weight myself at the end of day i'll be 2 to 3 pounds lighter...like clockwork. Sigh.....don't you fat ppl hate me? = )

2001-09-23T03:17:00.000-07:00

My sat. night.......

Cake74: i'm thinking i'm gonna drink myself to sleep
brendabaAaby: haha tight
brendabaAaby: i just ate 4 hot dogs!
Cake74: HAHAHAH
brendabaAaby: no bread tho
Cake74: that didn't sound right
brendabaAaby: no hot dog buns
Cake74: ok i'm thinking something else...i'm a dirty boy
brendabaAaby: hahaha..YEA cuz youre 27!
Cake74: shut up
Cake74: it has nothing to do with age my dear little girl
brendabaAaby: man you crack me up
brendabaAaby: thats true, guys are perverted at any age
Cake74: yesssss'
Cake74: i am a sex machine..doh!
brendabaAaby: duuuude, my virgin ears
brendabaAaby: or eyes
Cake74: whatevers
Cake74: u ain't no damn V
brendabaAaby: nono.,..i meant my ears and eyes
brendabaAaby: wat...i dont look like a V?
Cake74: puuulleaseee
Cake74: u look like a horny girl
Cake74: AHHAHAH
brendabaAaby: hahahaha
brendabaAaby: ok.......
brendabaAaby: i do not

2001-09-23T01:37:00.000-07:00

It's fuckin OFFICIAL...i'm a techy/computer/internet GEEK........ god help me, i use to be kinda cool...i think = /

maybe theres a "pill" i can take.....god please let there be a pill i can take ??!

2001-09-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

7:30pm still stuck at school......*sigh* well at least i'm being productive (unlike the the last 3 months). Saw this cute girl at school today and BELIEVE ME thats a fuckin rarity at an architecture school. The only kind of girls you find here are either "big&healthy" or really really anal and uber-strong willed.....which isn't a bad thing i guess but if your type of girl is more on the "softer" side....FORGET IT........... So u can imagine my surprise when i saw her.....she asked me a question about nerdy techy stuff...and i just kinda stumbled out a dumbass answer cuz i think i wrote "dumbass" on my forehead b4 left this morning...... but hey i have all year to work on her..plus of course i'm loaded with "options" these days....dunno how but hey no complaints........ AHHHH all the fish in the sea.....i guess when it rains, it pours. (well considering i was in a endless dry spell for most of the year...)

2001-09-17T02:16:00.000-07:00

OK after just finishing what seems like is gonna be my weekends for the rest of the "yahoo!!" year.....i think i'm gonna need to take up drinking ....or something sadisticly equaivent. i spent all day at school sunday, no surprise there..but today was also my first day on the "job" getting paid cotton-pickin slave wages babysitting my schools computer lab. I think 2 hours in i wanted to tell the next girl who asked or said to me, " uhmmm it's not WORKING...." to kiss my ass and go home, the computer doesn't like your fat ass...... but i didn't .....and i put on my ohhh all so charming fake-ass happy face and helped him/her out on thier stupid project......i've just realized that i'm a hour to hour pay guy.....how the fuck am i 27 and still a hour to hour pay guy!! someone kick me now plzs......

2001-09-15T00:42:00.000-07:00

This is my weekend...... friday:school......saturday:school.......sunday:school and work. My god..anyone wanna switch places with me for a weekend, plzs?

BTW, Kel......you're fuckin adoreable. Come back soon = )

2001-09-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

Pretty insane couple of days NO? i guess i could write for the next hour about how i feel about the events but insteand i rather leave you ppl who read this humble weblog of mine with this.....

"The fool who does evil to a man who is good, to a man who
is pure at heart and free from sin , the evil returns to him like the
dust thrown against the wind. "

The Dhammapada (c. B.C. 300)

"No one's death comes to pass without making some impression, and those close to the deceased inherit part of the liberated soul and become richer in their humanness...."

Hermann Broch

Live life to the fullest my friends......

2001-09-13T12:29:00.000-07:00

"I feel this way about it. World trade means world peace and consequently the World Trade Center buildings in New York
had a bigger purpose than just to provide room for tenants. The World Trade Center is a living symbol of man's dedication to
world peace ... beyond the compelling need to make this a monument to world peace, the World Trade Center should,
because of its importance, become a representation of man's belief in humanity, his need for individual dignity, his beliefs in
the cooperation of men, and through cooperation, his ability to find greatness. "

- Minoru Yamasaki, chief architect of the World Trade Center, a comment made long before yesterday

2001-09-13T01:02:00.000-07:00

I dunno if this is a accurate quote but if it is anything close......

"In the year of the new century and nine months,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror...
The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
Fire approaches the great new city..."
"In the city of york there will be a great collapse,
2 twin brothers torn apart by chaos
while the fortress falls the great leader will succumb
third big war will begin when the big city is burning"

- NOSTRADAMUS

2001-09-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

I thank God my sister is still alive......i pray for those who loss family and friends and for those who pasted........

2001-09-10T23:40:00.000-07:00

This BLOG is closed for the week.........out of fuckin inventory. = /

Restocking mentally this weekend......

2001-09-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

We are the middle children of history
with no purpose or place
We have no great war
no great depression
Our great war is a spiritual war
Our great depression is our lives.....

-Tyler Durden

2001-09-05T18:17:00.000-07:00

NEED SLEEP.....TOO TIRED TO WRITE/THINK.....miss Aki (shit...). MAN I HATE/LOVE ARCHITECTURE.......FUCK WHERES MY FUCKIN COFFEE.....JESUS I NEED A DAMN MAID, UHMM I MEAN GF TO WASH MY DISHES....... GOOD NIGHT PPLS.

2001-09-04T01:42:00.000-07:00

RECAPPING MY SORRY ASS WEEKEND...........

out goes the girl, in with school....no to the clubs, yes to the same old gym....... done with the drugs, starting the "caffeine" fix....trying to find what's left of my pride, looking to throw away certain "feelings"....done with drama, starting to make things "cake".......hopefully.

uhmmmm i think that about covers it.

2001-08-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, ALL my goodfornothingdamn friends are going out of town this weekend........and ME? I have to stay here cuz school starts on Tues. YES I AM STILL IN SCHOOL !!! (arrrgggh). I guess there are several reasons for this..... i started school a little late as a kid, i fucked around alot working odd jobs after i graduated HS......and finally I go to a 5 year Architecture school. Five fuckin years, sigh........and that's only if your are on crack and freakin insane. The average person graduates from my school uhmmm i say around 5 and a half, 6 years? It's called Southern California Institute of Architecture, Sci-Arc Most people in this world have never heard of it unless your REALLY into Architecture (which most ppl aren't) It's a good school, ranked top 10 in the country (even though i think its # 9 or 10 right now....) It's very avant garde, cutting edge, even experimental Arch. So it def. keeps one on its toes. I love Sci-Arc, but I do sometimes have doubts about my choose of schools though. You see its a relationship wrecker, and although i have no doubt where and what my future holds in terms of my goal as an Architect, i think my social life will forever have to take a back seat to my career.(SUCKS) I'll give you an example what my week is like on a regualr basis........ I get about maybe 24 hours of sleep MAX in a 7 day week. Most of that comes from sleeping all night on friday and sunday. I pull maybe 2 all nighters a week, i sleep when others wake and i drink so much coffee sometimes i'm turning browner every year. And did i tell you my Sci-Arc cost almost 20k a year? Which means i'll prob. owe the gov. almost 100k by the time i get out of school. YAHOOO......

But its a PASSION, so what can i do. So i learn that i have to be alittle anal, i have to have a thick skin, i have to be cocky and have faith in my own work, i have to put myself out there , be criticized and then fight for what i've created.....

But is there anythng better in life? The ability to CREATE......its an vastly undervalued asset in this world. You see, I don't destory to make a living, i don't profit from the work of others, i don't make a living from other ppl's suffering, What i do is unique and comes from ME.......... so if you were to ask me how i like or how it is being an architect ? just one thing............ it's a PASSION

2001-08-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

So i've gotten alot of "interesting" and "semi/psuedo-fattering" notes and emails since i've gotten on AA. Some letting me know that they enjoy the writing....some dropping by to share a few laughs, and some just basicly telling me that i'm a no-good ignorant ASS (heh, i like those...) But it got me thinking .......

I AM VERY MISUNDERSTOOD. People for some damn reason get the wrong impression of me a great deal....and i know you're NOT suppose to care what other ppl think. But come on !! Let's all admit it now......we're all fragile little beasts ,whether you want to admit it or not. I mean put the macho EGO aside........to quote Jesus, " Let thee who hath NO feelings cast the first stone...." Ok maybe he didn't say that but you know what i mean.

So who am i you might ask?? ....... I'm not a very "simple" person per say(although i'm trying damn hard to be...) I def. have my quirkes. I'm a bit of a loner, got a few issues, plus i'm abit anal(NOT SEXUAL) when it comes to certain things. I'm a big-time dreamer and I live by cerrtain rules ppl would find silly (for ex....IF ITS NOT AESTHETICILY PLEASING, DON'T BOTHER)or (sleeping before midnight is a MORTAL SIN) Some would say your childhood makes you what you are today, and i guess in some ways that applies. But i still say you are who you want to be.......and the past is the past, better to leave it there. So i guess i blame it on my PASSIONS.........

AHHHH the passions in life. If you think about it it makes sense doesn't it? Afterall passions are what drives us, extrudes emotion, ampifies feelings.......Yes, the ultimate catalyst. Once in a while it makes ppl do funny things, but out passions also forces us to seek out most terrific experience in this world.....LOVE. So i guess what i'm trying to say is...YOUR PASSIONS SHAPE AND DRIVE WHO YOU ARE. It could be as simple as money, cars, the opposite sex or as sophisticated as personal philosophy, DOGMAS and the opposite sex (again). If they're modest and straightforward, then the person might reflect as such. But if they are loaded and complex....well you might have some issues, but you as a person will sure as hell be interesting no ??

2001-08-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

" To implant, or not to implant....that is the question
Whether tis` nobler in the chest to suffer
The drools and gawks of outrageous cleavage
Or to take arms against a Plateau of shame......"

W. Shakespeare(if he had lived in the 21st century)

You know me and my friends have this same arguement all the time and it`s this........Are girls(particularly Asian) better off getting a boob job or NOT? I mean i know we`re not solving world hunger here but hey.... one thing at a time ok?! For us guys, shoot we think about booties all the time, no denying that....it`s a everyday thing : Wake-up(breasts), brush teeth(breasts), drive to work(look for breasts) And girls...don`t lie now, all of you have at one time of another stood in front of that mirror, "Cringed" and thought about getting yours done ASAP. But hey, whether you like "soft-serves" or "snow cones" the debate will continue...........

So let`s take a logical looks at this shall we?

THE FEEL...
REAL = like heaven baby, heaven
FAKE = like a bad grapefruit....i mean come on, who the hell likes grapefruits ?!
ADV - REAL

The LOOK...
REAL = like a big blackhead
FAKE = like heaven baby, heaven
ADV - FAKE

The COST
REAL = What cost?! u don`t even need a bra!
FAKE = $$ CHA-CHING!! $$
ADV - REAL

2ND FUNCTION
REAL = milk
FAKE = floatation device w/ milk
ADV - FAKE

BIGGEST +
REAL = Men respect you
FAKE = Men will give you their ATM pin
ADV - FAKE

BIGGEST -
REAL = BF leaves you for "Bigger"
FAKE = BF doesn`t know what "leave"means
ADV - REAL

So what have we learned here kids....??? Is it worth the pain and money to gain attention and self-confidence? Or are you satisfied enough in your own little world to know that you might be playing at a disavantage? Opinion may vary, but i think...

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, EVERTHING EVENS OUT FOLKS....

2001-08-24T02:07:00.000-07:00

OK just to clearify...I'm not dating a "German" girl dammit...she's only half Deutsch. hey man.... i don't sell out. (kidding) But thanks for your emails and questions of concern(Sandy, Joy, Glew, etc..)...its nice to know that i've actaully made some "real" friends on this thing..... Anyhoo, i kinda got nothing to say tonight(emotionally spent...) so i thought i might treat you ppl out there with something i wrote a while back..........

It's a little B-day note i wrote to my cousin WHL888 on his joyous day.....

Here's your present cousin...... from me(your wonderful friend and family) to you. She's all YOURS...........only a couple of things b4 you get started though....

1. You can only sleep with her ONCE...and thats it. NO more puntang after that...so while you will enjoy the moment, the minute after you climax..its OVERS! she'll tell you to get the fuck off her and "get her a towel or something, damn" and its all downhill from there buddy....(in other words you might as well go kill yourself) oh wait...you know what thats like huh?? opps NEVERMIND....

2. Your gonna need to get a 2nd job..... MSDW ain't cuttin it man. Cuz b4 you get your one nite of bliss(or sadistic interlude) you gonna have to wine and dine her for about 2 weeks. I mean she's(lets call her MS.CHA-CHING) a high-mantiance (betty) kinda girl and they sure as hell don't come cheap. My suggestion would be LA fitness gym. I think they're short one mexcian guy cleaning the machines and wiping the sweat off the grubby benches ..and you do have experience going from machine to machine following ppl(girls) around....heheheh best of luck my man.....

3. Now heres the kicker......YOU WILL SLOWLY GO MENTALLY INSANE.(ain't love grand?) you will think of her every nite and day and on top of all this she will call you once in a while(on purpose) just to see if the fish are still biting.....while you will NEVER get the chance to redeem yourself for the one nite of over-zealous passion, cuz it only lasted a min or two (it had been a while).Life is funny that way........

So my dear cousin...HAPPY BIRTHDAY old man...you realize i kid because i care. You know i love ya man, but its your b-day, and you know i couldn't let you celebrate without pouring some salt in the wound.......we are gonna have some fun this weekend boys............

2001-08-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

Stuck at home for the 3rd day in a row.........fuckin bitch ain't coming home till friday and its gonna cost me a couple of bills at least. "Sigh" but honestly that's not what's on my mind as of this moment.........You ever have something happen to you out of the blue that's so wonderful..... only later to realize it was all a facade? More fantasy than reality? And when you finally wake from this muse.......you find yourself left with only regrets and a longing for the past as bedfellows.......

Life is funny sometimes, it has a sadistic sense of humor.

2001-08-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

OK so my "other" GF is acting up again..(god what a high-mantiance biatch..) That's what happenes when you decide to commit to a OLDER, GERMAN, HARD TO HANDLE "GF"......She's driving me crasy and she's purposely set out to make me broke. ARRRGGHHH..........

Shit, you know what i just realized....BOTH my girls are GERMAN (hmmmm, maybe that's the problem..)

2001-08-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

OK....i'm a fuckin liar. i met my current "eye candy" and the "twinkle in my eye" at a CLUB......(arrrghh) Hey I'm a 24/7 walking contradiction......so deal.

2001-08-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

So i party alot...i admit it, no shame in that. Its all part of the "single" existance. You have no one to come home to at night(except your loyal body pillow) so natually you go out to places with the illusion of meeting that wonderful someone.......now these places are packed full of people just like you. Same illusion, add a dash of anticipation, all wrapped up nicely with a twinge of virgin optimsim...........

OK now, WAKE UP!! and lets all shallow this "reality pill" slowly ........ honestly do we really meet anyone at these places? Now in terms of places i'm refering to Clubs, Bars, Raves, etc....When was the last time you actually met someone decent at a night club? Really. For you girls out there, when's the last time a guy at a bar tried to pick up on you, with his ohhh so smooth lines and you DIDN'T want to puke? Now there are the few lucky ones that do win the lottery and meet a normal person, but that's like driving blindfolded.......eventually your gonna hit someone ...BAD. Now you might ask, "OK Jalen, where do I go to meet my future slave, uhmm duhh.... i mean sweetie? " My answer, TU AMIGOS.....

Think about it.....how many of your relationships have been introduced by your friends?? i bet 8 outta 10 people you've slept with have been 'hook-ups" (i'm calculating 20% of ppl we've slept with have been mistakes...) Yes, your friends, can't live with them, but you ain't getting laid without them. There's a term for friends that are there to hook you up, it's called being a "FENCE" . A Fence is someone who's a go-between, a middleman/woman. You have a need, you go to the fence. You need the 411 on that chick with the big denjis, check with the Fence. He/She are what seperates you from the "objective" in which you cannot get to yourself. Hence the term......

Now you being a friend and all, R U A FENCE?? How many Fences do you know? And how many Fences do you serve as?? Feel free to check amongest yourselves people..........

P.S. Yup...she's def. a KEEPER.."grinning"

2001-08-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

OK recap of the weekend......Saw American Pie 2 with a bunch of friends(guys). Spundae on Sat. with more friends(more guys).... saw some "import model girls' yahhooo !(not really). Saw Rush Hour 2 with a friend/date(girl)....went to watch it at a theather here in LA where they take resevations and have leather recline seats, plus at the beginning of every movie a comedian comes out and does his bit and passes out t-shirts and hats....(don't ask me why..)They serve funnel cakes and inside has a bar where you can get drinks(can you believe that?!) but a movie ticket cost $13 bucks...... Saw the same "import model girls" that was at Spundae in the fuckin movie(jesus..) Realized half way thur the movie that this one might actually be a "keeper" (ohhh no...) MY WEEKEND EPIPHANY........ movie with a girl is a whole fuckin lot better than movie with the guys. (sorry fellas i love you guys and all but you know how it is...)

2001-08-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

OK i have to say this(and pardon my french).........MY EX-GIRLFRIEND IS A FUCKIN BITCH. I'm sorry but there's just no getting around that fact, and fact it is ladies and gentlemen, written in stone...somewhere in some sick land where they mass produce her species. I happen to stumble onto her AA page last week(cuz it sure seems like she checks mine every damn week..god knows why..) and saw this lovely message on her site......

" Isn`t it awesome when everything comes together?
The epiphany is that all the bullshit you endured
in the past makes you ready for the one. Result?
Perfect harmony. "

Now if THAT isn't the most ironic and hypocritical statement in the world.........jesus can someone choke me please??! now!!? For those few ppl who actually read this and know what the fuck i'm talking about, i'm sure you'll agree...Is there no justice in this world?? "sigh" Boy i sure hope what goes around comes around.....

2001-08-09T16:13:00.000-07:00

So i woke up this morning to my new WELLS FARGO BANK STATEMENT in the mail...yay(fuck). The checking reads as follows.....$234.56. W T F!!!! Now this actually seems kinda funny to me becasuse i could of sworn at the beginning of the year..ohhh around Jan. i had two extra zeros behind that figure. (the little man in my head says its a misprint....i'm starting to realize the little man might be retarded...) Now we all know that denial is BLISS...but jesus fuckin H christ !! i think my sadistic reality has hit me right smack in the freakin forehead...or nuts. OK. Eric......let me get this straight 16,000+ in 8 months, been jobless now for almost 2 months, haven't had a GF now in 9 months, haven't had SEX in 6 months........DID I MENTION I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN 6 FUCKIN MONTHS!! 6 months wow....someone give me a cookie cuz i'm sure i've won some kind of fuckin award somewhere.....

2001-08-09T04:39:00.000-07:00

Yes yes, i know... its been a while since i've enriched all your lives with my little gems, but hey....honestly there hasn't been much to write about........i mean besides the flatline in my dating life(i currently live in the 'death valley" of dating...rent's cheap out here in the valley) me and my friends have pretty much done nothing......................... but CLUB.

Which brings me to the subject of this little rant. Now that i have my merit badge in LA clubs(you earn these badges of irony at the end of each month when you're doing your bills & you've realized how much $$$ you've blew going out....which is immediatly followed by sobbing) , i like to share with you some universal truths that exist out there in clubland......

1. WE ASIANS FUCK UP EVERYTHING - this is pretty self-explanatory, i mean we can all agree that the best kind of clubs are mixed clubs, not too many of one particular uhmmm "color"...but for some reason we asians are like locus....HOT club, GREAT vibe and then is slowly week by week devoured and run over by the asian plauge(translation: lots of 5' 6"little asian guys with white wife-beaters running around) end result....NOT-SO-HOT club, TERRIBLE vibe.......i have a theory on this though....i mean take ME for example....hey, i'm a pretty kool asian guy to hangout with(i love myself)good looking, easy to get along with, great sense of humor(this is where all of you nod) but if you were to clone me...and then for ex. there would be 3 or 4 of me where ever i went....jesus! Even i would get hella annoyed at and wanna choke ME....it's just overkill...so in other words a few asians...GOOD...lots of asians....NO GOOD

2. IF YOU'RE UGLY, DON'T DANCE - ok here's the math........UGLY person + dancing + sweat = UGLY sweaty dancing. Learn it, memorize it, its like your ABC's ok?

3. STAY AWAY FROM CHATTERS, SWEATERS, AND SAME SEX MASSAGERS - take your pick of what's worst......everyone's different i know but when you're on "vitamins" everyone's got something that bugs the shit outta ya........(THE CHATTER) you've had a long week and just wanna e-tard away in your own little world, but for some damn reason the person you're sitting next to won't shut the fuck up! yadda yadda yadda....he/'she goes on and on while you sit there and look at them imagining how their face would look if you shoved your fist down his/her mouth..........(THE SWEATER) you're chilling standing there, looking cool and all of a sudden your friend who has been dancing for 3 hours straight because he didn't do his/her cardio the past week decides to come hug you, cuz you're SUCH a good friend! yay! When he/she finally decides to detach......well, just go get a napkin or paper towel, k?........(THE MASSAGER) hey i'm not homophobic, but the last thing i need is some guy rubbing my shoulders and such asking me how i feel or if i'm rollin.....ok "dirty uncle" i'm fine, now get your grubby hands off me!

4. WHEN PICKING UP ON A GIRL, ALWAYS ALWAYS HAVE A WINGMAN - This is cruical !! I mean think about it, if you were on a plane that's about to crash, would you want to be the ONLY one in that motherfucker? HELL NO !! You would want all your friends there, so you can all go down in flames ..TOGETHER. = ) So make sure you bring a good and reliable wingman where ever you go. But make sure he knows how to "fly". Cuz in case you gotta eject for some damn reason, he better know WTF he's doing..............Or buddy, you ain't getting those digits. No matter how much "Cool Water" you poured on yourself before you left.........

So there you have if folks...just a couple of facts to keep in mind, next time you're out on the town...HAPPY HUNTING.

2001-08-08T15:37:00.000-07:00

(WARNING...the following contains events based on FICTION........uhmm well partly.)

Yes i’m 27, Taiwanese, damn good-looking, got a great future........AND (drumroll....) I’M FUCKIN SINGLE!!? Don’t ask me why....shit happens(i tell myself i’m holding out for China Chow) . I do sometimes blame it on the city where i live. L fuckin A. Ohhh yeah...the city of beauiful women, fast cars and every other asian girl is required by law... to have implants. I mean synthetic girls in a synthetic town i guess...what can you say. So for all of you who DON’T live in LA, i’m gonna give you a sample of the euphoria of dating life in the city of “angels”(and i use that word grudgingly)

EPISODE 1 ( The 'details' of my past weak, uhmm i mean week.....ahh here goes.)

Sat 3/10: So me and(lets just call this person..Damn) Ms.Damn are having lunch, so i pick her up...bunch of mindless small talk, chit chat, the flirting starts...lunch on 3rd St.....my cost $64 bucks with tip.(bearable)

Sun 3/11: Ms.Damn agrees to meet for lunch AGAIN, and i'm thinking, "hey this might be a damn good week" More flirting, she shows me her modeling pics, and half way through flipping the pages i get this "ache" between my legs or was it a itch? ahhh anyways actual skin to skin contact is achieved....i get a hug. My cost for the hug....$43 bucks for lunch at beverly hills(still bearable)

Mon 3/12 : Dinner...THE Dinner, this is the dinner in the dating ritual where EVERYTHING could go your way..or i could go home after and sleep with my body pillow for the next month again ....not good. So we're waiting for our table at the bar and Ms.Damn all of a sudden develops a negative reaction to alcohol...OMG pleaseeeee. So while she sips on a drink with less alcohol % than my morning pee....i (very smoothly i might add) tell the bartender to pour us some shots , strong shots mind you, but of course she would think they're on the 'house'. Plans works like a charm and she downs 2 shots and is buzzing like a fire alarm b4 we even sit down to eat. LOTS of touching and flirting during dinner.....at this point i'm feeling like i just hit my 4-game parlay!! My cost for instant bliss , $125 for sushi in Santa Monica(not so bearable, but i was too drunk/horny to notice)

Tues 3/13 : Ms Daamn agrees to come over for dinner, and i'm thinking "I'm a lucky dog, whrooffff" She tells me 8:30.... so i'm busting the scented Pier 1 candles out, i'm pickin the mood music, changing the sheets(word of advice here.....don't get ahead of yourself) pick up the food......and i wait. And wait..................and wait. its 5 till 10 and at this point i now know what it's like to be a housebitch, i mean housewife...waiting for her man to come home for dinner...OUCH. She shows up 15 min later and to make the long story short, we end up in my bed(surprise) but my first dose of BLUE BALLS is handed to me on a sliver platter........"sigh" The
cost for my poor genitals......$26 dollars for the thai food but i'm throwing in the damn good for nothing candles becasue they were new($23)

Wed 3/14 : ME at HER house.......hee heheehee I'm thinking 2nite's the nite. Oh yeah baby, No girl can say NO to the LOVE machine two nites in a row , right? I mean come on.............uhmmm right??? Well turns out this girl has a degree in "NO" and GOOD OL' Mr BLUE BALLS cmes knockin again......so while she's lying there butt naked, she starts telling me how she's falling for me and getting really really attached and she's scared, and yadda yadda yadda (which is all i heard from that point on) cuz nex thing i know she's dead asleep and i actaully start thinking with my head..the real head. Do i really want to be with this girl?? i mean REALLY??!(the little man in my head screams "NOOO!") well needless to say i start to panic and my stomache starts to feel funny and that added to Mr. Penis being ticked off...i start to freakout(internally)......i bolt on her at the crack of dawn...MS Damn was not amused..........My cost for the nite....besides the $ 5 bucks for gas...shit i was considering myself lucky not to lose what I loved most...being "ERIC" (close one) jk ppl.....

Thurs 3/15 : Well a pissed off Ms.DAMN demands an explaination and uhmmm i kinda give her a watered-down version of one so she was somewhat satisfied...i think, but she decides that we should NOT see each other tonite that way I could think about things....(at this point Mr.Penis cussing me out)....so no action/cost this nite...which at this point i still dunno if that's was a good thing or not..........

Fri 3/16 : ok we're gonna speed things up a bit...........so-called fashion show with her friends...turns out to be a strip club(she had no idea..i had no complaints) Dinner with her friends...they ask if we're an "item" i said ..uhmmm forget what i said but all i remember hearing was " oh ok..cuz we always have to ask, you know..i mean she's with a different guy everytime we see her...." at this point i feel like going home and hugging my body pillow...... My cost for humulation.........$70 for korean food....im soooo sick of korean food! P.S. BLUE BALLS #3...ain't life grand??

Sat 3/17 : Birthday nite...BIG NITE BABY....my nite,nothing can or will go wrong tonite.......i mean its my goddamnmotherfuckin B-day! (translation : she's gotta give it up tonite) fast forward.......we're in bed.........she wants to hug.....HUG!!!! she's wearing nothing but my wifebeater and the damn girl wants to HUG!!! At this point my penis was wishing it was my foot instead so it could turn around and kick my ass! Fustration sets in and Mr. Penis does the talking for the rest of the nite....things were said...ahhh and well....she leaves Sun morning saying nothing to me while i act like the tough guy and say nothing back.............

So there you have it friends.....my $400+ week of rapturous BLUE BALLS ....so all you brave souls out there, word of advice about relationships.........DON'T TAKE MINE......cuz i ain't got a clue about how this shit works = )